Write this in 30 minutes.

I already had blogger app to help me writing constantly to this blog, yet I barely touch it. Kekeke.

Anyway...

It's another night, a few minutes before tomorrow. What's the day? It keeps passing just like that. Sometimes I wonder what my life purpose is. I'm bored. Many things in life don't seem really interesting to me lately. Maybe I need new challenge, yet my old challenges seem to be unsolved yet. Or maybe I have another issue.

Sometimes I feel anxious and nervous. I keep worrying but I don't know what exactly I'm worrying about.

However, it's not like I'm not happy at all. It's just... a thing that sometimes cross my mind. I tend to overthink and not enjoy things as they are. I need to give some 'meaning' to my every action and experience in order to enjoy it. Yet, thinking and giving those meanings makes me exhausted slowly. Then I gave up. I just walk my life without thinking, but that makes me feel meaningless. So yes. For me, it's either being exhausted or feeling meaningless. (I have a complicated mind, which actually can be more simple, right?)

Actually after getting married, I feel better. Alhamdulillah, my husband is a really loving person. Unlike me, he doesn't overthink. He is a happy person and I love to be around him. I learn slowly how to enjoy things as they are. Slowly.

Maybe I just need some time.

Oh. And I see one more thing that could be my source of anxiousness: I am a person of target. Sometimes I burden myself too much for targets that are too hard to achieve, and I end up do nothing about them. I should try not to burden myself with unrealistic targets. Or maybe I just have to fulfill those targets to be happy. Kekeke.

So this is me blabbering about my life. I wonder if many persons in this world are, or had ever, feeling the same emptiness like me.

Back then in 2009, I also had the same issue. But I was able to overcome it by reading some good motivation books. Now, those books and motivating words are like boring things for me. They don't have the same effect. Maybe I should try to read new books, like romantic fiction, or comedy. Books that don't tell me what to do, but show me what the characters do with their life problems, and entertaining at the same time. :))